Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
