Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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