and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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