chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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