So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
