I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
