just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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