we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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