well you can't waste a boner
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
