I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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