Porn is love you can see.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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