5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
