I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
