I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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