when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
