I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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