I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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