No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
