Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
