I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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