Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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