I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
