You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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