I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
