He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
