whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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