My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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