how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
