come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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