so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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