i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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