I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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