the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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