dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm bleeding and have questions
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm always down for nudity.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
