You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
