yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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