I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
