so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
