i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
