Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Pants 0. Shit 1.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
That accounts for only three of the penises
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
