i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
