epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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