I cockslap morals
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
