Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
there's paper in my vomit.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
