i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
