Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
