That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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