Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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