this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My dick has a subreddit
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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