i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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