Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
